I just need support

Okay, so long story short. I am 30 years old. I have been trying to conceive the last 3 years. I was pregnant once when I was 19, sadly had to terminate (long store, very hurt by this still) and now I am afraid I am unable to conceive due to termination. I feel like I have been cursed because the one thing I have always wanted in life was a family with children. I just need help staying positive because I feel like my time is up. 😓 my heart hurts every single day, every month when the time comes and I see that I am not pregnant I just break more and more. I will be going to a fertility dr this month but hope is all lost for me