Venting and looking for advice

Hey mamas, I don’t usually post a lot of personal things but I don’t have that many friends who I can turn too... to make a long story short I’ve been with my fiancé almost 10 years now ..... there have been a lot of ups and downs with his mom/sister and occasionally his brother.

There was a time where his sister her husband my fiancé and I were having a drinking night and his sister got completely drunk and confessed to me that my MIL has told her that she thinks I was “high maintenance” “snobby” and that my fiancé doesn’t go to any family events because I force him not too (which is not true, he barely went to any of them even before we got together) anyways after that night we confronted his sister and she begged us not to say anything which we decided to keep quiet and see if she would say anything else... if she did or not we didn’t hear anything after that nor did we have anymore drunken nights... fast forward to us trying to conceive (his sister had kept asking us when we were planning on having a baby and if we were) so when we decided we were we got excited and shared the news with just them.... little did we know they were trying as well for their baby #2. Coincidentally we got pregnant at the exact same time. Literally due 3 days apart .... from then on it become a disaster, everything started to feel like a competition on who was showing more and blah blah, we found out we were having twins and when we shared the news with his side they seemed upset/jealous (his sister apperently wanted twins) (twins run in my family) so anyways my whole pregnant was a disaster, due to all the stress I ended up losing one baby we told the family (his side) and their response was “it’s ok 2 babies would’ve been too hard for you guys anyways” and 2 weeks later I lost the other. I had the worst miscarriage ever due to the fact that i ended up in the emergency room (I won’t get into that) anyways my MIL wanted to come and visit me after losing the babies I wasn’t really up for people coming to visit I just wanted to be alone but she kept insisting so I let her and my FIL come. The first thing she said was “oh ok you’re fine I thought you’d be more hung up on it but it’s fine you’ll be ok” like what the fuck who says that... and then she said that my SIL wanted to come for the visit but changed her mind because “she’ll hate me cause I’m still pregnant and she’s not it’s not my fault that that happened to them” isn’t she something? Anyways fast forward to getting pregnant with my rainbow baby boy we kept our pregnancy a secret until 16 weeks (I told my mom of course before that) when we announced they seems shocked and then got upset when they found out how many weeks I was (we decided to keep quiet because my fiancé felt that every time something good happens to us and we tell his family it all goes to shit. We strongly believe in the evil eye and sometimes it feels like they have it out for us) then his mom made a huge deal about wanting to be there when I give. Iran and I kept telling her no... we told her we don’t want anyone there except for my mom and that she could come visit once the baby is born but just her. Not his brother or sister... they finally accepted .... didn’t stop her from trying to get my bf to let others come by once she came to the hospital she asked if people could come 😑 anyways we were very strict on how we wanted to raise him and we didn’t want anyone to hold him. Not even my mom held him. His family made a huge problem about that saying how my whole family has held him and none of them have. Then came me breastfeeding. There was always a fkn issue or comment. His mom kept forcing formula on me saying that “it’s healthier and better because you can see how many ounces he’s drinking” or “ if he’s feeding lot it’s because you don’t have enough milk” we’ve heard it all but yet we kept quiet waiting for the big finale so we can finally explode on them. Then his brother told me “he should be off the breast by now he’s 6months you need to start giving him bottles .... or his mom with the “ he needs a pacifier cause when he’s teething he’s gonna cry a lot and you need to shut him up or you’re go crazy. My son never took a pacifier he didn’t want it (I actually tried for soothing purposes but his ped assured me that I didn’t need it) still do this day they’ve asked maybe 4-5 more times how long do I plan on breastfeeding for and my SIL husband actually was the last one to say “ are you planning on giving your tit until he’s 5” 🙄 my boyfriend responded with “ is your son gonna suck on plastic (pacifier) until he’s 2 “ they use the pacifier to shut their kid up .... anyways then we skipped Xmas because SIL son has mono and they made a huge deal about how we think our son is better than their kids because we don’t want him to get sick. Anyways then came covid 19 (already his family has a hard time listening to us with simple things like “please wash your hands before cleaning him” i constantly keep saying “guys why is it so hard for simple tasks like I don’t have these issues with my family yet with this side it’s a constant battle “ SO NOW the big finale my sons 1st birthday was Saturday .... NOBODY CALLED.... his sister messaged me later in the day with a happy bday to Nathan I replied with thank you and she of course replied with you’re welcome!! My fiancé waited the whole day for his mom to call and nothing. He ended up calling her yesterday and said to her “did you forget what day it was yesterday” guys you will not believe her response. She said “ yes it was your sons birthday what do you want me to do about it ?!” WHAT THE FUCK. anyways they ended up having a huge argument over the phone (we had a little party for my son just us my mom and dad (they live downstairs from us) and we decided to have my sons godparents over because we know their both home (haven’t started working yet to covid) so we knew it was ok. Whereas his whole family works in cleaning and his brothers gf works in a clinic where they do testing for covid so we didn’t feel comfortable having them over especially because they can’t listen to simple directions .... not only that but his mom kept saying well her whole family was there yet you didn’t invite any of yours (my fiancé of course put her straight because my whole family was not here) then she said why were the godparents there they’re just godparents that’s not important and her parents were there too!! His mom is so unreasonable... then he proceeded with we’re done we’re always the ones that have to pass by nobody there can ever come see nathan. We’re sick and tired of it always being us. She said “well I’m not coming to see him by a window I wanna come inside the house and I wanna be able to hold him and kiss him or else theres no point in coming all the way there” Mind you we live like 10 mins away by car. Anyways his mom obviously had to have the last words and said “ whoever you’re ready to pass by we have Nathan’s gift”.

This was the last straw for both my fiancé and I. He has given me the ok to say what I want from now on. We plan on going to visit his grandparents but unfortunately they all live in the same triplex. My fiance has said when we go we’re gonna give them a piece of our mind and that I can finally tel my MIL to fly a fkn kite. Sorry for the long rant I needed to vent something. Also if you have any insight on what I should say or do that would’ve helpful. I feel bad for my son... but we’re tired of having to push my son on them when they don’t do any effort to come and see him

Thanks for reading ♥️