2md miscarriage

Just looking for support/someone who has been through a similar situation.

We have a 2.5 year old.

We had a miscarriage this fall (found out in October that the baby had stopped growing, had an E&C in November after an attempted misoprostil administration)

We had positive pregnancy tests at the end of Feb and March, but finally had a successful pregnancy in April stick, with the help of progesterone.

We went to get an ultrasound on Monday, and I felt like I was having dejavu. The US tech stated that the baby was 2 weeks smaller than expected from my last period, but did see a flicker.

We are now in the waiting period until next Thursday when I have another ultrasound to determine viability.

I feel like complete crap. But I'm having a hard time with grief this go around 1) because we still aren't sure it's a loss 2) I know many people have it so much worse than I do 3) if it is a loss, it's going to be significantly harder to not blame myself and my body.

Just looking for someone who has been in a similar situation or who can related with this seemed secondary infertility and loss.

Thanks y'all