edited to add because I apparently wasn’t clear....I will under NO CIRCUMSTANCES hit (including spank) my child. If that’s your advice, move on. And if anyone thought I was suggesting that, I wasn’t.

To those who gave helpful advice, thank you!

And to the mom-shamers...🤬

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My son is two and a half, and most of the time is really sweet. He has always been really energetic but that’s fine, if tiring. But lately he’s gotten really bad with hitting, kicking, pinching/digging fingers, and throwing things at me. Sometimes it’s more annoying than painful, but other times he REALLY hurts me. Sometimes he’s actually mad, like he doesn’t want to do something, but other times he’s just being playful.

I just don’t know how to get through to him that this isn’t okay. I would never do anything physical back (don’t even believe in spanking). The only thing I do is restrain him, like hold his arms or legs to stop hitting or kicking. I’ve tried time-outs, I’ve tried saying no, and I’ve tried just explaining that this isn’t okay (“It hurts mommy when you hit her, you need to be gentle with mommy” etc). With the first two he has just started mimicking me - like he’ll hit me and then say “no hitting!” or “go timeout!” And with trying to explain (and yes I know he’s only 2 and can’t really understand reasoning) he just laughs and says “that’s funny.” To which I always respond “no, not funny.”

The only thing he’s really responded to are the couple times when he’s taken me totally by surprise, or it’s just gotten to a point where I can’t take it anymore, and I yell. Like about a week ago I was sitting on the floor and he came up behind me and hit me with a wood block on the top of the head. I didn’t see it coming and it really hurt and a practically screamed. He got this scared/sad look on face and gave me a big hug, patting my back saying “it’s okay.” But obviously I don’t want to scream at him.

Timeouts sort of seem to work, at least in the moment, but it’s not stopping the behavior. I should mention I’m a single mom, and I’ve been working from home, and taking cate of my son full time since March because of the virus. And I realize that may be part of the problem. I try to pay enough attention to him, and get him outside to run around, but I’m sure I could be doing a better job. I think about sending him back to daycare but if I do that before I absolutely have to and something happens I’ll feel a million times worse.

I feel like this post makes my son sound horrible and he’s really not. He’s a joy a lot of the time. That’s part of why this is so upsetting to me. I love him sooooo much, but when this stuff happens I just don’t want to be around him. And I’m worried that every time I look at him with a sad or angry expression it’s hurting our bond. I don’t want that to be the image he has of my face.

Thanks for reading. I feel like every time I try to talk to someone about this, I either get a lecture on what I’m doing wrong or get told it’s normal/get over it.