I’ve been with my husband for 7 years and our marriage is shit. He makes me miserable and starving for affection. He is ungrateful and a compulsive liar but never unfaithful. We will fight for days and have absolute mind blowing sex that just somehow brings whatever we were fighting over out of mind and then we are fine for a day and then just repeat. I’m miserable when the cycle goes back to fighting. He won’t go to counseling and even if he would I can’t find anyone in my rural area that counsels couples other than churches and I’m not religious nor want to be around a pastor or priest because of my strict catholic upbringing that’s left me traumatized. Anyway. I can’t leave him or I’ll be homeless and we have children. What am I supposed to do when I have no options? I don’t know how to break the cycle. I don’t know how to heal the paranoia he’s inflicted from years about lying about things like where he is (going out with friends rather than working because he thinks I’ll say no but has never asked) things like that. I do want to add that our fighting is mostly not talking or arguing over text we don’t do it in front of our kids.

Edit:

He doesn’t acknowledge there is a problem. We both want to be married but I’m the only one thinking it needs saving. I’ll think about your pastor comment Jessica thank you.

Edit 2:

He has told me he lies because he doesn’t want me to tell him no or get mad but it’s been years since he asks to do the things he lies about so he hasn’t given me a chance to meet him halfway to prevent the lying