Baby Fever

Hi, all! I’m 20, married to my wonderful husband. I LOVE children. Like, babies hit my soft spot. Not just cuz they’re cute and innocent, I can’t explain it. Ever since I was 6 (yes, 6!!!) I’ve babysat my baby cousins by myself (no, not responsible on the parents part), but I never had an issue. I even love changing diapers, waking up in the middle of the night, I don’t know why I just love the magic of life and blah blah blah. I would babysit them for weeks alone and did this my entire life up until recently. My one goal in life has and will always be to first 1. Become a mom and 2. Be a good mom. My husband and I are not actively trying for a baby because he’s in the military. Yet we have had a couple of accidents that quickly turned into miscarriages... so anyways...My sister just had a baby and I can’t help but be jealous. And I’m mad at myself for feeling this way. I know right now is probably not the ideal time to have a baby and I know it’s her time and I shouldn’t feel jealous. I don’t know... this is just me rambling I guess. I don’t even know the point of this post I just had to get it out. Am I weird for this longing feeling of so so so badly wanting to be a mother??? It’s been this way my entire I insane?