Partner has very low sex drive while ttc

Not just while trying to conceive but in general. Our average in our 3 and a half years is 2x a month. Since the beginning.

I think our best streak is 4 times in one month.

Obviously this is an issue while ttc. I’m not asking for advice. I know the only sure fire way to resolve and compromise is via couples like therapy to address the issue. I’ve tried lingerie. Not telling him when O is. Not pressuring. Etc etc.

I’m just feeling broken-hearted and frustrated. We’re on Cycle 3 after a 10 week loss in January. I told him I was going to pause this month because he started telling me how busy work would be and that always translates to being too tired or stressed and I didn’t want any anxiety or stress around ttc this month.

When I mentioned it, he went into “no we can try! Let’s just do it every other day or so so there’s no pressure. I’ll make it work!”

And here we are. Cycle day 9 and he has no interest, keeps telling me how tired he is, is avoiding all mention or talk of any sex-related things.

If he didn’t promise he wanted to try this month I would have been way better emotionally. Instead I got my hopes up again only to be let down...again.

I’m 39. We did fertility testing last week and while I’m waiting for the doc to go over my results in detail, my AMH is extremely low. The saving grace is that I’m regular and still ovulating and my other numbers are within range. But I don’t have a lot of time left. I don’t want to pressure him. But he keeps saying he wants one more kid and then as soon as it’s time to have sex he shuts down. He did this even when we weren’t trying (hence why I know it’s bigger than just a minor issue and requires professional guidance)

I think I’m just looking to be seen in this sadness. Not being wanted sexually for 3 years has been hard enough on its own. I know it’s not his fault. I know it’s gotta be hard on him to have lost his desire and be struggling with that and being afraid to find out something is wrong.

My heart is just broken. And I’m just feeling alone. Thanks for listening. Good luck everyone. Baby dust to you all.