So lately I've really been struggling with just being happy with my body. A part of me feels like I'm fake because I'm so quick to preach about self love and acceptance and how appearance shouldn't matter, but I just hate the way I look now that I've gained that "quarantine 15." I just dont feel good about myself.

On top of that, my boyfriend has been mentioning how he has also put on some pounds since covid started and how he needs to work out and lose weight and idk, I guess I just find it triggering. I know I shouldn't, but my mind just automatically jumps to "well if he thinks he's fat then I must be huge and disgusting"

I know that's the absolute worst mindset to be in and it's not good to be thinking like that, but I can't seem to just find peace with how I am. And I'm worried that if I can't get into that same self love mindset I used to have that maybe I'll end up slipping back into old habits of disordered eating. I'm afraid of where my mind has been lately and I dont know what to do