I’m struggling

I’ll be 20 weeks pregnant tomorrow.

Before I got pregnant I had lost about 50lbs. At my heaviest I was 240lbs and before getting pregnant made it down to 187. I was soo proud of my weight loss and looked and felt a lot better. Then my husband and I decided to have a baby. We got pregnant pretty quickly and all has been good. I’m struggling mentally with the weight gain. I’ve gained about 15lbs and I feel like I just look fat. I don’t have a cute defined bump, it just looks like squishy fat. And I’m scared of gaining a lot of weight back.

I stopped counting calories when we got pregnant, and there have defiantly been a decent amount of times where I’ve given in to cravings and eaten a lot of junk. Covid lock down did not help. When I talked to my doctor she didn’t seem concerned about weight gain as much as she was concerned about eating enough calories and told me to just try to keep active. I’m pretty sure it’s all in my head and whenever I tell my husband I’m feeling gross and fat he just says “you’re not fat, you’re pregnant”. I know he’s trying to be supportive but I don’t know what I want to hear.

I have pictures of when I got down to my lowest weight vs this morning.

I’m just struggling with my body and how it’s changing. I don’t know what I’m looking for out of this. I just feel really bad right now about weight gain and I’m scared I’m gonna be heavy again. 😥