We've been together for 4 years now. We've had joint accounts for the past 3 years. I'm starting to feel uneasy, hear me out. He's always been super obsessed about finances, like not frugal or anything, just obsessed. Out of our mutual income, I contribute around 40-45% and he contributes around 60%. We do a finance plan for each month for 6 months (expences, savings etc) and he obsesses over it daily.

I am very frugal. I honestly neglect my needs often or make compromises that don't do me well. I have things I can't let go off and other things I can easily let go that most people can't (like I don't do takeouts or dine out or buy myself clothes unless I absolutely need something and even then it's H&M).

He gets on my nerves. Like I was paying him half of his car gas, or car repairs or etc. He wanted a new gaming computer (damn they're expensive) so we saved up for that. We are now saving for him to buy himself a nicer car, which he needs, but it's still his car and I won't be allowed to drive it. I am always fine with everything he wants. I was helping him pay off his business loan (for his company which I have nothing to with), buy his best friend expensive gifts (like a leather wallet etc).

I wanted to save for a laser hair removal because I have stubborn hair that I can't shave and wax only lasts for a week or less and hair kills my sex drive (which is still cheaper than his pc). He didn't think I was in my right mind when I asked for it. Because of course we can't afford it.

Long story short, i calculated MY finances and not only I can cover all my expenses, I still get to save at least 15% of my monthly paycheck (If I lived on my own).

He is honestly the one who spends WAY MORE. But doesn't see it. I feel like he is manipulating me. He always complains about money which puts me under a lot of stress, even if we're financially in a good situation.

Please tell me what to do. I know my money I am extremely cautious. We're always saving up for him, but never for me. Sometimes we save for us (like a vacation). Why is he making me cut down on my expenses since I am able to pay them on my own and still end up saving money.

I don't know what to do. I also do everything around the house WHICH I OWN (no rent for us) like cooking, cleaning, laundry etc.