I’m not okay.

That’s it. I see a therapist, I do. I take lexapro. I’m sad. I’m tired. And it feels so alone. I can’t seem to be able to even address the extent to what I feel. Can’t process it. Feels numb. Empty. Like I just want to lay here where I am bc it’s hard to let people know I’m suffering. No one knows how bad. But I’m not okay. I want to cry and scream at the top of my lungs and just be held and face the pain. But I don’t have that person. So I just wanted to tell someone I’m not okay. Laying here after another night of temporary love. Tried ecstasy last night with him. It was great. But temporary. Just another body in his mix. I’m tired. Tired of smoking, drinking. Tired of smiling and putting on a beautiful front like I’m not a shell. Thanks for listening.