I’ve been clean of self harm for 4 years. I used to scrape my wrists hard with a key because I could never use a razor blade. But now things have gotten bad again and I’ve thought about it a lot but instead of a key I’ve used a rubber band. I’m ashamed at myself. This is my second time doing it again and the pain hurts but it feels like what I deserve and I’m thinking of wearing it more often. I’ve never done drugs/weed and rarely drink but I want to try it and feel elevated and be in a happy headspace although it’s only temporary... my trichotillomania continues to worsen but only 30 more days until I start college.... 30 more days until some type of freedom.