So long story short I have been with husband for 9 years and we have a 3yr old daughter and I am currently pregnant. After my daughter’s birth I had pretty bad postpartum and I felt no connection or love towards anyone besides my baby.. I never wanted affection from my husband not to mention sex. It took a toll on us and I pushed through as best I could. My own mom told me to take “care” of him more or he would find someone else..well I’ve tried sooo hard and the past year and a half we have been very good. However it’s always been hard for me to say I love you.. my mom and other family never said it growing up and in general my family is not affectionate..when I met my husband I would say it all the time but now since my daughter I fell back into not saying it all the time. He says it all the time and expects me to say it back. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me! I do love him very much and he is a great husband and father but he can get a temper and I know he has resentment towards me because of it. Yesterday he started yelling at me when I got home from work about it and I ended up leaving with my daughter and staying with my cousin.. he didn’t realize we were even gone until this morning and started blowing up my phone and eventually apologized. I came home because I want things better but I don’t know how to move past this! I know I still suffer from depression and being newly pregnant I can feel myself slipping again..I don’t know how to forget the times he has been unkind, I feel like that effects my willingness to say I love you as well as trauma from my childhood. Does anyone have any suggestions or a similar problem? Idk how to be better. I feel like a terrible wife and that makes me feel like I’m a bad mom too.☹️

Edit: yes I have been in therapy and unfortunately that is not an option at the moment. I thought I would get some words of encouragement instead of just asking that. But thanks for your concern!