Bf troubles

Hello, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months now, I lost my virginity to him. The first time we had sex, he kept pushing me about it for 2 months straight and then I let into his guilt trip. The first time was horrible, I cried the entire time and he just kept telling me to relax but I just wanted it to be over and he refused to let me just quit and try again later. I love him very much and see him in my future but every time we have sex, it takes me a few minutes to relax my self and he gets very mean when I tell him to stop or to go slower and he just doesn’t seem to care. I don’t want to leave him but how can I make him understand what he’s doing is not okay