Heartbroken

I’ve tried to end it all twice because of this because I want to be with the love of my life my husband but can’t we love each other but we’re having problems we live with my grandma she is a bitch she wants us to separate she eve makes fun of me trying to end my life twice even my grandpa laughted in my face joking he doesn’t live here with us anymore even Dow they raised me. I just feel like without him I don’t want anything the other two time I took a whole bunch of pills and felt sick was sent to hospital. All my grandma has said in the past has been if you want to kill yourself kill yourself. Blaming me for a lot of things she is toxic literally she has called me a slut sometimes she fakes to act nice my husband even says he doesn’t like her. And he wants to leave but sadly me and my husband have things to stop us from being happy together we dated for four years and married for a year almost two he doesn’t like her because she tells all our business to everyone. I literally hate my family. If I can’t be with the love of my life and I’m living with this family I will die of a broken heart I feel anxiety to severe that I even feel nausea and stomach pain and cry every day because before me and my husband were closer. Has this ever happens to you that you love someone so much that you feel like you don’t want anything without them. My and him have fought so much and haven’t had respect for one another anymore. I love him and hate him at the same time we both have said horrible things to each other.