Ever feel like giving up?
Today has just been well....HELL!!! My husband left me at 8 weeks pregnant for another woman, I had no where to go so I moved into the garage, well he got with a different girl and then decided he didn't want her either, but he doesn't want our marriage yet either, wants sex and so on, so stupid me moved back into our room, moved the girlfriend into our air-conditioned shed. Well you guess it she is also pregnant with his child(I dont even know how to handle it) he says he is trying to talk her into an abortion but has been spending everyday with this girl, asking me to give him a month. Im stupid i get it. But I'm high risk, and half way to my due date. Today she had her first ultrasound sure shit she is really pregnant. Im devastated. Fast forward he is gone with her again, leaving me with our 3 year old and 1 year old. Well our dryer broke, so I kicked it beat it screamed at it and cried for an hour or so. Hey it some what works again. I changed my 1 year old sat down and started painting to get my mind off the hell im going through, well i smelt a poopy diaper which is odd because I take my daughters poop diapers outside, but hey im pregnant maybe I forgot. I searched for an hour looking for it, couldn't find it, thought no way my daughter pooped again(only poops once a day) sure enough i walk over to her crib she is laughing playing in poop. I take her and my son for a bath, they are in the bath I walk 2 feet away to grab their pajamas turned and looked sure enough my son put shampoo in her hair, so I sigh wash her hair and get her out leaving my son to play with the water coming from the faucet(I dont plug my bathtub even with me in the bath with them so no water accumulates less risk of drowning) I take my daughter 4 feet away to my bed to get her dressed, my son comes running out of the bath crying and screaming im sorry mommy, meanwhile I hear the water still running, so I pick up my daughter to see what my son has done and what do you know he didnt do anything my bath faucet shot off, and was spewing water everywhere, my husband is still out with his whatever she is, im here trying so hard not to just give up and cry. I cant take a bath to relax cause well my bathtub is now out of order. I feel so bad for my unborn child because I cant only imagine the pain it feels because I cant seem to let go of a husband who can't make up his mind, and the trials of being an adult. Youd think at 27 years old id have my shit together...NOPE... I rather sit here trying not to cry because I'm an idiot for loving my cheating ass husband. I have no where else to go, no car absolutely nothing, my best friend is my mom and dad, and I feel so guilty calling them all the time crying because I know they hate seeing me hurt, I'm lost, im hurt, im broken, confused, pregnant, emotional, and everything feels like its going wrong. Im sorry if you've made it this far I'm just so broken and don't wanna call my parents crying about the life I have chose to live because I just cant seem to let go.