Traumatic birth

I was induced with baby number 4 on my due date 7/21/2020. I had a feeling he was too big or something was wrong weeks before I had him. He was -2 station, 50 effaced, and 3 cm. All of my other kids were 0 stations and I was 95% effaced when I was incued. I told two of my three obs that something was wrong because I wasn't progressing despite the constant contractions. I told them the third baby's shoulders got stuck and I know this baby is too big. We get to the hospital to start the pitocin. Ob told me the day before she would come break my water at 7am. 7, 8, 9, 10 all come and go and my ob still hasn't shown to break my water. I've been walking from 6 am until this point with my pitocin turned up every hour this whole time and I'm still not feeling contrations. I feel a little amount of pressure and thats it. I told my nurse to call my ob and ask her if she would like me to come back a different day since she still hasn't shown up and I'm not in any pain anyways. That sounds rude but the office doesn't open until 8am, it's literally located right behind my hospital they walk over for births our ob is on the 1st floor, she was supposed to I show up at 7 and I was the only induction going on, no other women are in labor, etc. She just lied and I was pissed. She finally shows up to break my a after at 11am. I have no doubt If she would've shown up on time at 7 the baby would've been born by 11 just like my other kids. She talked about putting in a monitor because I still wasn't feeling my contractions but once she broke my water which was an excessive amount I started feeling them. I had some horrible back labor where It felt as though I was being smashed in the back with a hammer and feeling them in my stomach and thighs as well. It was around 1230 that I asked for staydol she checked me and I was a whooping 5cm! The staydol helped wonderfully and I did a position on the birth ball that helped with my back pain a little. I could feel myself transition by 125 or so. She checked and I was 8cm. She called my ob told her to get there now. My ob showed up within a minute or two since the office is right there she checked i was ready to go. I pushed and I barely felt him move so i knew for sure at this point he was likely getting stuck. I felt no urge to push until i was contracting. Next contraction I got his head out that's when we realized his shoulders were stuck. The nurse hopped on my stomach and I pushed while she pushed and my ob pulled and he was born at 1:46pm. He was placed on top of me and thats when the hemorrhaging started. I felt it gushed like a waterfall. My mom and other half said it was squirting and spewing everywhere as well as the waterfall. They clamped my torn cervix and brought me in for surgery before I could even find out how much my baby weighed. He tore my uterus and cervix during delivery. I lost 1/4 of the blood in my body and had 3 blood transfusions. I feel traumatized. I never felt so close to death. All I could think about was my 4 kids growing up without a mom. I'm so thankful that I'm alive. I finally got to go hold my sweet boy almost 4 hours after his birth. This big boy came into world weighing 9lbs 1oz and 21 in long. He has white hair that all the nurses just loved ❤