A females thoughts on being cheated on

Years together. We have children I used my body to grow. I'm 9 months pregnant and found you in bed with someone else. I can't walk around my house without reminding myself of what used to be good. You say you want to fix things, how you felt guilty. You say you would have told me but I'm reality I don't think you would have. You stopped sleeping with me, and trade it in me, who takes care of you, mother's your children, loves you. For a homeless meth head. He says it won't happen again but how could I trust him? My world is destroyed. I have no one but you all to talk too. I gave up my friends to move in with him. I gave up my hobbies to have his kids. I don't have anyone, and nothing. This man is killing me and somehow I still love him. He's a great father, but not a good boyfriend. He has promised me the world, but instead flipped mine upside down. He wants to fix things and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. It kills me because I have very low expectations. He knows I'm not ok, he know all I do is cry. He doesn't understand how to be good emotional support, so he stays farther away from me. He doesn't want to make it worse. It just makes me more scared that it's happening again. If I can't see him I'm messed up. I can't clean, I can't eat, I can't breathe anymore.