Ex (22M) and I (20F) dated for over a year then broke up January 2020. I was devastated and blamed myself for it. Even though he said it’s neither of us’ fault. We just didn’t work out. Then we tried it again in May 2020, but he broke up with me again in July 2020. Over text both times. Over the same reasons. I am so devastated.

I admit I had mistakes and things I did in the relationship. Part of me thinks I should’ve been grateful that he came back to me, and another part thinks that I shouldn’t have taken him back because of his constant change of mind of EVERYTHING in general. He’s changed so much since I met him and he’s no longer the guy I fell in love with. But I still have love for him that’s why I tried it again, it felt so familiar and right to be with him.

I noticed that when we go on dates, there’s nothing to talk about other than things we’ve done in the past. E.g: “remember when..” “haha I can’t believe you did this last year..” Even after that, there was nothing to talk about. He was all about his politics and Trump and everything. He gets along with his cousin and his gf more than me, and spends most of his week with them. I have to literally fight for him to get to hangout with me. He made me sound like I was a bitch who always wanted to hangout with him. Well he doesn’t call his cousin and his gf bitches for wanting to hangout with him all the time.

Anyway he is also a misogynist. He says something like “women should not have the right to vote” and “women are too emotional and they cry. I’m a man, I don’t get emotional and cry” it’s like he has to prove to me that he is a man by belittling me and telling me things like “I’ll break up with you if you work at a gym” but he goes to the gym.. “I’ll break up with you if you go to the club for your 21st. Guys will hit on you” but he goes to hooters and I had a problem with that, AND he just told me I get upset over everything and he’s tired of it.

He wants me to be a stay at home mom too so that when we get divorced he’d have the money in The world and have his house and kids to himself.. cause I’d be screwed. I wouldn’t have money so I wouldn’t get custody. Literally told me that the month after we started dating again. It was awful.

But I KNOW all these terrible things about him... I still want to be with him. I still want him. I still feel bad for the things I’ve done to him. They’re not even that bad. The things I’ve done to him are me complaining we rarely see each other, getting upset when he won’t help me finish during sex (also told me women are not supposed to cum cause sex for women is only for them to bear a child). And literally just me begging for his time!!!

Advice please