Struggling 😞

Ladies I need to vent, I am struggling!

I turned 35 the other week and done nothing but cry since! I am so upset that I have got to 35 and still not been lucky enough to be a mummy.

I been proactively trying for about 4-5 years but haven’t been preventing our whole relationship (11years). I know the issues with me but nhs refuse to investigate because my bmi is too high (it’s also too high for private treatment). I have very irregular cycles, PCOS and underactive thyroid, which makes loosing weight pretty much impossible and trust me I have tried many things!

I was shocked to find out I fell pregnant last April/May but sadly lost the pregnancy at 7 weeks. I have never really gotten over this loss, each cycle that passes feel like my chances of it happening again are fading!

I just want the joy of having my own little one, instead of having to celebrate others with their good news. I must be honest I have become quite bitter and starting resent seeing a new announcement pretty much every week.

I am loosing hope, I know my husband has already lost his. He’s extremely supportive of me but just doesn’t believe we stand a chance to conceive naturally. Either way he’s told me I am enough, as much as he wants a kid he wants me more.

So my options are loose 7stone to be investigated and hopefully try IVF or face the facts I will never be a mummy. My heart is just breaking 😞