help? bodycount

so i’m a teenager and i lost my virginity 6 months ago to a guy i knew for 2 years and is 4 years older then me i thought i really loved him (being so young it seems stupid but still) and things got complicated and we’re still friends but i wanna have sex with someone else because he’s always asking his friends who wants his “seconds” and i don’t wanna be known has that anymore but i feel like if i have sex with someone else and it’s not as good/i don’t feel a connection i feel like sex won’t be special to me anymore if my body counts 2, because he was the only guy that i was 100% comfortable with us why i let him take my v card even though he’s known in my town as a player.