Should I be bummed?

Question

So I’m 19 years old and my boyfriend and I have been together for two years. My boyfriend is in the air force and all his military friends are getting married. Everyone around us is getting married and I get they’re doing it mainly for benefits. But, I want to get married and he doesn’t! He says it’s financial he’s not ready for and he’s just not ready. It just makes me sad coz everyone around us is getting married and the girls talk to me about it like “omg he can’t wait to marry me!” Or some girls are like “he can’t wait to marry me but I’m not ready!” But in my case it’s just he doesn’t want to marry me and not because I don’t want to or anything about me. He just doesn’t want to. I’m a full time student working on my bachelors and I assumed that maybe he doesn’t want to get married bc im in school and I asked and he said no it’s just completely because I don’t want to. It just makes me bummed and theresnothing I can do about it.. Can anyone give me words of advice of why waiting should be better or if you were upset what would you do? 
Thank you
(PS he never said he didn’t want to ever just not until his military career over)

Answer

It seems like you're more upset because everyone else is doing it than anything else. 
A lot of military marriages fail for exactly the reason you mentioned- people get married young, and rushing into it, for the benefits. 
Do you want to be another one of those failed marriages because you rushed into it by trying to keep up with the Joneses? I hope not. 
What exactly would the marriage change for you? You're already with the guy, and you already (I would hope) have a good relationship and are happy together. So why exactly do you want to get married NOW? Why are you so upset over him wanting to wait? Why are you upset over everyone else doing it? 
I think you need to refocus here. Stop focusing so much of yourself on being jealous over what someone else is doing. Start appreciating what YOU have more. You're never going to be happy with you constantly compare yourself to what other people are doing

Answer

You’ll be watching half those girls go through messy divorces over the next few years. Relax.

Answer

did he say he doesn't want to marry you? or that he's just not ready and you're taking it as him not wanting to marry you? some people take years to be ready. if you want to do it soon, i would sit down and have a conversation to establish a time of when he might be ready. if he isn't ready by then, or you don't want to wait until then, would you be okay with that? or is that a dealbreaker? for some people, they might never feel ready or want to get married. others view it as a very important milestone in life. neither are wrong, but sometimes it's hard to compromise on things like that and have both parties be happy.

Answer

From the sounds of this, the only reason you want to get married is because everyone else is. 
Stop comparing your relationship to everyone else’s. There’s no specific timeline you have to adhere to.

Answer

Most of his military friends will be divorced in a couple years so I wouldn’t be looking at them as good examples. If he’s not ready then he’s not ready, plus you’re only 19 there’s no need to get married right away just cause his friends are. So no you shouldn’t be bummed, finish your education, live your own life, and be your own person before you get trapped into the military lifestyle. It isn’t all rainbows and sunshine like the internet makes it out to be, being married while your spouse in in the military is HARD.

Answer

Definitely no harm in waiting. Military marriages take a lot of hard work and patience, trust me I know, military wife here. Like everyone else has said, military dudes who rush into marriage just because they joined do not stay married for long and get divorced. Also, joining the military is a huge and scary step in itself. Let him get his barrings first, the military can be so uncertain in a lot of areas and trying to balance being a newly wed only adds more stress to the situation. Take that time to focus on college and getting that degree.

Answer

Maybe there is some other trend you can follow like new hair cut or dressing styles, that would be way cheaper than getting married and also easier to correct if chosen wrong. Listen to your bf he seems to be the mature one in your relationship. Getting married is not something you should do because everyone around is doing it but because the two of you are ready. You have not even finished your bachelor's degree yet where are you rushing to?

Answer

Maybe he wants to wait until you’re both financially stable & when he’s ready to do so.

Answer

marriage is not supposed to be a fad. your time will come and it’ll mean that much more.

Answer

If you only want to get married because everyone else is then it clearly shows you're not yet mature enough to get married.

Should I be bummed?

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