Would you consider being a surrogate?

Question

My friend has been TTC for years, including IVF. Before I was pregnant myself I told myself I would totally be a surrogate for a close family member or friend in need. But now that I’m pregnant and miserable I’m rethinking it. Firstly, because this was not an easy pregnancy. Secondly, because I don’t know if I could suppress the baby love feeling I have now and tell myself THIS time, it’s someone else’s baby and not mine to keep. It would be super easy for me to get pregnant and I feel like I could change their whole life by putting in nine months. Idk. They can just hire someone, right?

Answer

There is nothing to be ashamed about if you don’t feel comfortable carrying someone else’s baby, for whatever reason. Just putting that out there.

Answer

I personally had a very hard first pregnancy. I forgot about the challenges because I knew I wanted at least one more baby. This second pregnancy has been twice as difficult and the morning sickness has not gone away even after 19 weeks. I don't think that I could ever go through pregnancy again. Whenever you have never been pregnant before it is easy to think that you could totally do it, but it is okay to change your mind after experiencing a difficult pregnancy of your own. There are plenty of people out there willing to carry other people's babies and there are also other options for couples who cannot conceive.

Answer

I’m a surrogate right now 😊 currently 8w2d! 
I can tell you that this pregnancy is WAY more different than my pregnancies with my 2 keepers. I feel more “disconnected” to the baby because I’m not dreaming about a life with him/her. All I’m focusing on is making sure this baby grows healthy so I can give him/her to their wonderful parents ❤️ 
If you feel like down the road it’s something you want to do then go for it! But don’t ever feel pressured to do it because it does take a lot emotionally and physically. Reach out if you ever have questions or want to talk about it!

Answer

It took years and I needed IVF to get pregnant. Infertility is soul crushing. It’s impossible to explain how absolutely depressing, lonely, exasperating, unfair, etc, etc it is. It produces existential and identity crises. It is constant disappointment and agony, daily, for years on end. It makes you feel worthless, like your life has no meaning and never will if you can’t be a parent. It is, hands down, the worst and most prolonged experience I have ever endured. I was lucky enough to find success through IVF, but I cannot imagine going through all that VERY costly and physically taxing intervention for it not to work. You can say they can hire a surrogate, but that is incredibly expensive on top of the money they’ve already drained into fertility treatments thus far. People have to take our second mortgages to be able to afford this type of treatment.
If I were younger and done having my own babies, I would absolutely be a surrogate if someone I loved were going through what I had to go through. It would be the most amazing and wonderful gift you could EVER EVER give somebody. You’re worried about getting attached to the fetus you’re carrying, but think about the agony they feel not ever being able to have the joy of a child of their own. Your nine months would give them an absolute lifetime of happiness. Think of your life without your own babies. How sad would that be? That’s how they feel every day, but you could help  give them the love that you feel when you get to look at your own kids. What an incredible and selfless gift that would be!

Answer

It‘s illegal where I live so I answered no. Also, I‘m not pro surrogacy, to each their own. If you don‘t feel comfortable with it anymore, you‘re not obligated to do it!

Answer

If this is something you may consider for them. Research up on it, see what the process is for you, look at forums for ladies who have been surrogates, seek advice from those with experience. If the pandemic lets up anytime soon the parents to be could be heavily involved in the pregnancy progress so that it helps to remind you that this is THEIR baby, so that the love you feel is because of a bond with other parents rather than mother to child. Its fine if you dont want to do it because pregnancy is not easy, it’s uncomfortable and stressful and tiring, if you choose not to you should not feel guilty about it.

Answer

Yes if they didn’t mind that I had Cholestasis with my first and only pregnancy. I loved being pregnant. Absolutely loved it and I would do it again in a heart beat. I’d have to have a repeat c-section but that would make it easier for me to give the baby to the parents.

Answer

My two pregnancies were perfect so I can't complain about being miserable. I voted yes because I would love to give someone that chance and I would do anything for my family.

Answer

My pregnancy was all over the place, but I would love to be a surrogate for someone. Unfortunately, due to pre-eclampsia and because my daughter was born really small we're not sure why, I'm not a candidate. I would absolutely love to give someone the opportunity to have a child, but I would never judge anyone for saying they wouldn't want to. Pregnancy is Incredibly hard!!

Answer

Up until this week I would have said yes in a second!
From 4-28 weeks I absolutely loved every minute of pregnancy and would be pregnant again for sure!
At 29 weeks exactly I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and have about a 50-70% chance of having it every pregnancy now, and every time I get gestational diabetes I increase my chance of type 2 diabetes later in life and increase my risk of heart disease and stroke.

Would you consider being a surrogate?

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