Help! Sleep training and trying to break the fed-to-sleep association!

I am desperate for real advice on this. Not just references to guides or telling me to lay my son down “awake but drowsy”. I know it’s my own doing that the fed to sleep association exists for my son. I just need help so that I don’t lose my mind. My cute as a button, amazing son is 7.5 months old. Exclusively breastfed.

I invested in the “Little Ones” sleep program and it has been such a help getting his nap schedule right. He naps by the book - every day. 930-10 and 1230-230. We dropped the third nap (it used to be at 445 for no more than 20 mins) right after he turned 6 months old or so. The issue is, for those naps he gets fed to sleep 9/10 times because he just will not self settle. He gets fed to sleep 100% of the time at night (he goes down between 630-7) because 10/10 times he will not self settle at night. He is waking up every 2-3 hours at night consistently and will not calm for anything less than nursing.

We have the white noise, black out curtains, sleep sack, it’s 72 degrees Fahrenheit in the house at night, etc.

He will not take the pacifier (he never has), he finds comfort in his small blanket sometimes, but for the most part he just screams. There were a couple nights where I attempted to settle based on recommendations in the sleep program. I tried rubbing his face, leaving, coming back 6 minutes later rinse and repeat. I did this one night for literally 2 hours. He was just crying no matter what and settled for nothing but being nursed. (Then, I felt horrible the next day because his voice was hoarse).

My husband can’t get him down - it has to be me. He will settle for my husband but not sleep. He’s just awake like it’s time to get up if my husband tries to go in at night or lay him down for sleep/nap.

I used to be able to bring him to bed with me when it was unbearable and I hadn’t slept more than 3-4 hours total - broken each night for a week. Now, he won’t sleep in my bed with me at all. He just cries if I try to lay him anywhere but his crib. So I think he likes his crib and likes his room.... he just has no idea how to self settle to help himself in between sleep cycles and it’s killing me.

How do I do this? Realistically. With the least amount of tears as possible. Please help. 😞