When do I discuss the “marriage” topic?

Question

Ladies I need your help, advise, and expertise...
Before I begin I have to preface this by saying this past February I got out of a 6 year relationship that started the beginning of my Jr. year in high school (just keep that in mind for later) 
On with the story... so back in the end of May/beginning of June I started talking to this guy I met on Hinge. We have been spending virtually every weekend together since June. The night he brought me to meet his parent (about mid-July) he told me he loved me... and by the end of July we slapped a label on it and called it “official”. 
Now this past weekend we had a brief talk about us... and I said something to the effect of “when you know you know” and that I tend to go “full throttle when I feel sure about something”. I explained that I never wanted to make him feel pressured into going faster than he’s comfortable with. To this he replied with an “I agree, I just like to take the time to make a relationship grow” which I was totally on board with.
I got home today and, me being the overthinks that I am, couldn’t get my mind off of this conversation... so I sat down and talked to my mom about it (big mistake). She replies that if I don’t want to end up like my cousin (who is perfectly happy, unmarried, and 33) I need to have the marriage discussion with him by this November/December. And that if he does not feel mutual then I should walk. 
All of this I agreed with especially after wasting and waiting around for 6 years for someone I thought loved me as much as I loved them... I just don’t have the strength within myself to watch something this amazing and beautiful not turn out the way I need it to. 
So I guess what I’m getting at is... when do you all think it would be appropriate to have this conversation? 
Some important side notes for context: he’s mentioned wanting to get married and have a family someday (not specifically with me yet just that it was one of his life goals), we share a LOT in common (major points for both of us like religion, morals, ethics, values), he’s mentioned multiple times that his family has never liked one of his girlfriends more (hope that doesn’t sound conceited I’m just repeating what he said 😬), when he was talking to his dad the other day his dad told him “don’t mess this up”, we did talk briefly about weddings/wedding venues when I was on Pinterest and he saw a “wedding” board that I had saved, he also told me about the kind of ring he would like someday (again in the context of that conversation) but it wasn’t brought up again since this... anyways I’m rambling let me know what you all think 
Ps for the record I’m aware this is a NEW relationship and its in its “honeymoon” phase but like I said when you know you know...

Answer

He's told you that in his future he wants to be married and have children. In my opinion, you've had about as much of a discussion on the topic that is appropriate for at least the first 6 months of a relationship. Obviously, there are no absolutes in life. If the conversation should come up naturally, wonderful. I do not think you should PLAN to have a conversation with him until closer to the one year mark. As you know, a relationships length doesn't determine it's destination. You can be with someone for 5 years and never get married or with someone for 1 year and get married. Do not let your mother's expectations influence your relationship. Good luck!

Answer

I think in his eyes you've already had the conversation. Hes said it's his goal one day and didnt freak at your pinterest board and even talked rings. I dont get why would you need to discuss it again? As long as the relationship goes well then surely that's the natural path. I think it's too much to try discuss it this year less than 6 months into a relationship (already knowing it's what he wants someday) I understand you've spent 6 years before and felt it wasted but this isnt the same guy, you cant judge by your exs standards 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

Hit the 3 month Mark in my relationship I gave my partner 2 years to propose. I knew he was the one. I Believe two years gives someone enough time to figure out if someone meant to be or not.because the fact when you get older you don't want to waste time or energy in a relationship that's going nowhere. dated for two years engaged for two years, married two years after the engagement.this allows a person to make sure within a total of six years that this is a thousand percent want they want.

Answer

I wouldn’t be pushing him to get engaged by November. 
I guess I need more of an explanation of what you want to discuss about it.

Answer

I like to have the conversation about relationship and future goals on the first date. If a man's going to run, I want him to do it before I get attached. 
Important things to discuss: marriage (yes or no? Dating with intention of finding a life partner), kids (yes or no?, roughly how many? 1 vs 4 is a big difference), kind of lifestyle you want, do your future plans and goals align or mesh, do your values align, do your politics align (if they don't, can you respect each other's beliefs and your differences), do your spiritual beliefs align (if not, can you respect differences and work together)

Answer

My husband and I had only been dating for a few weeks when I started a conversation with him about long relationships. I told him how I believed a year was a realistic timeframe in which most people should be able to know whether or not the person they are dating is the person they want to marry. I told him that I think that if you are a year into a relationship and you aren't sure that's the person that you want to marry, that isn't the person you should be with. No one (who's ultimate goal is marriage) deserves to have their time wasted for longer than that, and I believe that waiting much longer than a year gives the impression you are settling when you finally do decide to get married.
Anyways, I told my husband (then boyfriend) that if he wasn't sure he wanted to get married after a year, then I wasn't going to let him waste my time any longer because I wanted to be married one day and I was tired of guys wasting my time. At first he was shocked that I said that, but when I explained why I felt that passionately about it, he understood. 
From that point on we both knew that evaluating each other as a potential spouse was a priority for the both of us.
He ended up proposing a few months later and we got married a week after he proposed, almost 6 months from the day that we met. The wedding was a little rushed because he was getting deployed, but either way, neither of us wanted to wait any longer to get married because we had already decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Why wait when you know? I agree with you - when you know, you just know!

When do I discuss the “marriage” topic?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey