Why do you want kids?

Question

I just became pregnant for the first time, and I've never wanted kids. I thought I may adopt one day, and my husband has always wanted kids. So I thought we'd have some one day, but we accidentally got pregnant earlier than expected. I truly want to love my baby and be excited for this time, but I can't help but be kinda bummed (selfish I know, & I'm sorry to all those wanting a baby and would be so happy to be in my position). Also, I've never been good around babies, so all of this makes me so so nervous. I think it may help if you guys let me know why you want a baby and what has been the best thing for you through your pregnancy, labor, parenting. I'm sorry if you think this is a selfish post, I'm just being honest and would love to start being more positive about my pregnancy and baby. Thank you!! 💛

Answer

I didn’t know what to expect after my daughter was born, through my pregnancy it didn’t seem like she was ever actually going to be a part of my world beyond being inside of me in that moment. She is three weeks old now, and it truly is a love like no other. Seeing her smile, or hearing her laugh in her sleep, or watching her take things in around her- it’s now the brightest part of my world. It feels like my world is truly a better place just because she’s in it- which is something I never could have imagined before. My pregnancy was also unexpected, and I went through it on my own at 22, so there were a lot of doubts along the way, but she’s by far the best thing I’ve ever done.

Answer

Everyone is different and will feel different  with their baby! No shame, mom. While I miscarried and am now pregnant with my rainbow baby, it hasn't been amazing the whole time. I've been miserable a lot of the time, despite how incredibly thankful I am for this child. I would NEVER trade her for the world, but pregnancy is not my thing. I don't dig feeling uncomfortably huge nor morning sickness. Yuck.
BUT my favorite things about pregnancy so far: (I'm 36w1d)
• Doing fun little social media bump updates every couple of weeks. I also had a lot of fun putting together a cheap but cute announcement
• Hearing and seeing the heartbeat for the first time
• Learning the gender and buying clothing
• Setting up a nursery/childhood bedroom
• Picking out a name and (very loose) plans for her childhood
• Feeling kicks for the first time, and then slowly feeling them getting stronger
• Somehow already loving this sweet baby so much despite not meeting her yet. Loved her dearly from the two pink lines, and each time I saw her on an ultrasound, loved her even more.
• Being amazed at how powerful and capable my body is
•Becoming healthier. It's been good learning how to exercise well and eat to fuel my body instead of just satisfy hunger
• Indulging more into relaxation
• Having a little too much fun with people doing things for me just bc of pregnancy 😂
• Watching my sweet husband grow into a daddy, and somehow grow further (and better somehow?!) into his husband role

Answer

I never wanted kids. I did so because I knew my husband wanted kids. It really is an adjustment, but I love them. It helps thinking about how I created something with him and we’ll see both of us in each of our kids. 
I don’t regret my kids at all, but sometimes I realize why people choose to never have kids. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but I can understand both sides, if that makes sense. 
I too, was selfish.

Answer

I don’t think I can explain why I wanted kids, but it’s just something I have known my entire life. I always said growing up, “I just wish I could be the age where I’m married and I have kids.” 
Best thing about being pregnant was not being self-conscious anymore lol. As soon as I was really showing I felt so good about myself because I didn’t scrutinize my body anymore. I was pregnant, so I knew I looked that way. I wore tighter clothes, a bathing suit...it was great. Best thing about having a baby (he’s only 4 weeks) is watching my husband with him. I always knew he would be a good dad, but it melts my heart to see the two of them together.

Answer

Because of this 👇🏻   It’s all the laughs, unconditional love and bonding. They bring so much joy. My last two pregnancies were awful, just miserable for me but oh so so worth it to get these little love bugs. They may fight and act out at times but they give lots of giggles and kisses to make up for it.

Answer

You are completely allowed to feel how you do! Not everyone wants the same thing. I never wanted to be pregnant but I always thought I’d want to be a mom. I wanted to adopt from the foster system but my husband truly desired a biological child. Let me tell you, the road to conceiving was awful. I had test after test after procedure and fertility drugs. I hated all of it and it really made our sex life a drag. And I didn’t love being pregnant either. I got zero excitement out of feeling my son kick or have the hiccups especially because it always seemed to happen when I wanted to sleep. And labor, labor sucked big time. But that boy has had my heart since the moment he was born. I expected to love my child but I can’t even describe the depth of love that I have for him. I would go back and suffer through all of that again for him.
You may or may not enjoy the journey and parenting may be super hard, but nothing melts your heart quite like a snuggly baby that wants and needs your arms. 
I hope it’s an easy road for you and I hope that you find joy in being a mom. But if you don’t, that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you (unless you have ppd and then you should see your doctor). Not every woman loves being a mother, but it also doesn’t mean you can’t be a great one.

Answer

I think you're already a great mom for asking this question. There is absolutely no selfishness here.
I've always been awkward with kids. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and I still don't know how to hold them. I've never changed a diaper. I'm still awkward with our friends kids. But I've always wanted a family like my parents did and I'm open to learning and be not awkward with my kids 🙂.

Answer

Being a mom is what I have always wanted. It’s my purpose and I believe that is why I am here. Growing a little tiny human inside of you is absolutely amazing and a true miracle. Then watching them grow outside of you is even better 😊 Babies are an absolute blessing. Teaching them, loving them, playing with them and helping them grow everyday is the best feeling in the whole entire world. The love a mama has for their baby is so much that is actually hurts. I cry all the time because I’m so happy to have a beautiful boy. He is 21 months old and I am trying for my second now 😊 I wish you all the best for your growing family!

Answer

When I was growing up I always wanted to be a mom, but then in my 20s I realized I was actually very much undecided. My husband wanted kids for sure but we wanted time just us when we first got married. Part of me used to hope that if it were meant to be I would "accidentally" get pregnant, because I honestly couldn't decide, and we were just using the pull out method so it was very possible. Honestly deciding I wanted to be a mom didn't really kick in for me until I turned 30. After losing family members and recognising that family is truly the most important thing to me in life, I was ready for us to actually try. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and it was devastating. I'm so excited to be 28 weeks now with my baby girl! Yes, our lives will change drastically and some of that I'm definitely sad and anxious about. But it will also be a new adventure for my husband and I and we're at the point in life where we are ready for it (or as ready as you can be haha)!

Answer

Before I had my first daughter I would always say I never wanted kids. Like 5 years ago you wouldn't be able to convince me at all. But idk I guess it was just maternal instincts that kicked in I loved my daughter from the second I knew she was growing inside of me and viewed myself way differently after. Like wow I can really grow and create a life inside of me & when she was born it turned into wow I really have the opportunity to give someone an amazing life. To be the person that I always wanted and needed in my life to another little girl. Having my daughter helped heal a lot of childhood trauma for me. My whole life just changed so naturally and for the better. This time around when I got pregnant again seeing my daughter's excitement for her baby sister reminded me of how much a gift children truly are and how I now couldn't imagine life without them just how a few years back I couldn't imagine my life with them.

Why do you want kids?

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