Please I’m begging you if you have time read this and help me. I’m desperate. I need to

Know if this is my fault or not. My boyfriend (father of my 2 children) is always yelling at me, swearing, sometimes calls me names, sometimes even breaks/punches things when he’s angry.

I’m so sick of it. But it’s hard because he’s the father of my children. I feel embarrassed if we don’t work out. But lately I’ve been thinking this is abusive behaviour. He does it infront of our almost 2 year old sometimes and I ALWAYS tell him to stop. That I’m not going to argue infront of him. He makes him scared and cry.

Today we were out and I’m currently pregnant and we didn’t eat at all. So I’ve been feeling like shit. He said “were getting burger king because I want it” I said I don’t like it. We had it the other day because you wanted it. But I don’t like it. Can I get ... and I listed 3 different options. He yelled at me and said “I said a drive thru” so I said “ok KFC” but then he started yelling and said everything is always my way. I told him he can still get Burger King I just don’t want it. He said “no now I’m going to get kfc when I don’t even want it. He was turning the car really quickly and just in a rage.

I started crying and said honestly I don’t even want anything anymore. When I’m upset I break down. He got super pissed at me we screaming. I told him I can’t be with someone like that he said its my fault. Then said it’s not all him. It’s me too and if I think it’s all him then we need to break up. I’ve told him a million times I can’t handle being treated this way. My parents were abusive to me my whole life and it messed me up. I was diagnosed with depression at one point in my life and anxiety. I feel like he’s making excuses for his behaviour. Making me Think...is it me? Is it my fault?

He was yelling and saying “then I’m not going to fucking eat either” and drop to pick up our son at his parents.

I said I’m staying in the car. I’m upset and feel sick now because it’s 2pm and I still haven’t ate and I’ve been crying and still am crying. He slammed the door went inside, then came back in the car and said “I don’t want her to think anything so can you just come inside” I said no I don’t care. I always tell you I don’t want our son to see anything and you don’t care. He said “this is why it’s you” and slammed the door.

Am I wrong he was just being abusive and I’m crying and he just expects me to pretend and smile like everything’s ok? I can’t do it anymore. His sister the other day said “you treat your girlfriend so good” like they don’t even see how he really is. He will do all of this to me and then will say “I’m sorry do you love me?” “You know I love you right?” “Who really treats their girlfriend like this? I’m so good to you” “when one things wrong you forget about the good” “can I have a kiss” I feel like I’m being manipulated.

Am I wrong?