PPD/PPA?

I had my son 3 months ago and ever since day one I’ve had this horrible feeling of not wanting him. I don’t want to hurt or myself I couldn’t imagine anything ever happing to him. Some days I feel like he’s my whole world but others I can’t believe I had him and wished I didn’t. I’m crying everyday.

I don’t know what I’m asking for or looking for I’m lost and heartbroken