I’ve been with my boyfriend since November 2018 but we’ve had to do long distance since August 2019. I’m 22 and he’s 21.

Since doing long distance it’s been quite tough as there’s now a 5 hour time difference and we’ve both been busy with jobs and me being back at university.

So he keeps going into these phases (I’d say started in January maybe end of last year?) where I don’t hear from him for days and sometimes even a week or two. Even during this period I still message him everyday and I understand he might need space or time to himself or whatever but he just ignores me and I know he does it on purpose. I always wonder what I’ve done wrong this time as all we seem to do is argue and I want us to get out of that habit but I just don’t know how. Also whenever I call him he never answers even when I know he’s not busy doing anything.

In June of this year him and his family moved to another state where they used to live and their neighbours kids are the same age as him and his younger siblings. They’ve been hanging out almost every night since moving in. My boyfriends sister is dating the boy. When they all first started hanging out I asked him if there was anything going on between him and the girl and he said no (I only asked this because he lied to me about the neighbours being an “old fat man”).

At the end of June he broke things off with me so he could be with her. They lasted about 2 weeks and most of that time he was on vacay with his family in another state. He said all that happened between them was a few kisses and she touched his dingy (I don’t know if I can believe that’s all that happened). At the end of July whilst he was still on vacay, I got a message saying “I miss you” and basically I was playing hard to get so he would have to work hard for me if he was serious and now we’re back together. Things were going great ... until he got back home. Before he arrived there I asked if he would still be hanging with the neighbours and he said no. That same night, guess what happened?! He was with her (not sure if they were alone or all siblings were there too?). They all still go on late night walks together, have bonfires, go to the mall, and get takeaway together (like I said before, not sure if totally alone or not). I told him to be honest with me about when she’s going to be around but he never is unless I ask about it and then it just turns into another argument. He said he’s not interested in her like that anymore saying she’s weird and stuff but idk. I’ve been having a hard time believing what he’s saying about anything lately and trusting him and his response to that was “don’t I guess”. And whenever she’s around I can tell he always puts me on hide alerts / do not disturb so that when I call or text it doesn’t show up on his phone. Last time he messaged me was on Monday saying how he’s “at work thanks for asking”. I replied saying how was I meant to know that since he never tells me anything like that or what his work schedule is (even though he has only just started this job about 2 weeks ago). And asking how it’s going with the new job etc.. Since then he had been ignoring me and like I said before I still text him everyday even when he ignores me. It’s now Friday night and I just received a message saying “I can’t right now. Idk what to do”. I will give updates on what that means..

Any advice of how to stop all the arguments? Or those phases he has? Or the girl? Or how to try to deal with any of this? 🙏🏼