Feeling alone!

It hurts when I realize I have no one to talk to about what I’m going through mentally or how I feel. Ik my postpartum is going to be extremely bad but I can just bottle it like I do with my depression. At this point idk what to do anymore. I just keep crying and I hope my baby don’t come out with these messed up emotions. I’m trying to keep myself happy but it’s not working anymore. I’m slowly cracking and those cracks are starting to show. I’m horrified for October to get here now. I wish I could push my due date bacc. I eat when I get to this point but I’ve hit pass 210 and I don’t want to keep getting bigger. I don’t even look at my face when I’m in the mirror anymore. I just don’t feel cute no more. I hate going out because I just feel like I look disgusting. That’s just some of my feelings. I’m done venting now, and sorry for the long post. I’m just tired of smacking on a smile when I roll out of bed