depression

hi everyone, i really think i’m depressed. im sad all the time even when i’m happy i’m sad, if that makes sense. it feels like an underlying disease, it’s always there but people can’t tell. i’ve felt sad for years and have tried to push it away and not deal with it but recently i feel like i’m at the edge, like i can’t push it away anymore.

some days i feel like i’m over reacting and that i’m happy but other days i feel like i really need to talk to someone. i don’t know what to do. i’ve tried to talk to my boyfriend for the first real time the other day (we’ve been together for 2 1/2 years) and he really tries to understand but he’s just a really happy person. i’ve always been scared to go to a therapist because i don’t want people to think i’m doing this for attention or i’m lying. i also don’t have money to go to therapy right now. please give me some advice or what medicine helps.