She used me

A while back I became friends with a girl I used to work with. She was super cool, liked the same things I liked, was fun, and super pretty. After a year or so I felt like she had become my best friend, because I suffer from really bad anxiety and depression and she looked past it and took me under her wing. I eventually started watching her dogs for her, and we agreed that she’d pay me every week. She never did unless I asked, but that was okay with me because I needed to escape, I adored her dogs, and she was my friend! We didn’t always agree, but she was there when my dad passed, and she called me the morning one of her dogs passed away.

At some point in our friendship a mutual friend started talking badly about her, and she would tell me all these things that were said about me. It was at this time when she also started seeing someone, and he was ALWAYS around. I felt like I was being replaced, so I kinda backed away and gave her space. We eventually grew close again, but one day at work someone had told me something that I had ONLY spoken to her about. I was hurt. I was pissed. I completely cut her off until we went to a concert with mutual friends, and I realised that I really wanted her to be my maid of honour. Shortly after the concert our mutual friend made a post about work (I had quit) and I commented something that I thought was funny. I didn’t think it was offensive at all, but she was pissed and completely cut me out of her life. I tried reaching out and apologising, but she wasn’t having any of it.

It’s been a year since we’ve spoken, and I miss her crazy ass like everyday. She was the first person I almost texted when I found out I was pregnant, but I remembered that she hates me and wants nothing to do with me. I still go back to my old work place every now and then, and I’m always tempted to say hi, but I’m scared af. I’ve literally cried every single time I’ve thought about the situation, because she was one of the most important people in my life, and I freaking miss her. 😞