TTC & scared to take a pregnancy test but I think I feel symptoms

My husband & I have wanted kids since the day we met. We waited until we got married to try & we’ve been trying & every time I get my period I get so upset.

A little back story, I had miscarried when I was seeing someone else a few years ago & this guy didn’t even know I was pregnant. It was a whole drama when he found out & so many people got involved who shouldn’t have. I went through this by myself, I didn’t even tell my mother or sister at the time this happened so it left a huge scar on my heart. Thankfully two years after I met my husband who has been nothing but encouraging & supportive in me wanting to have kids.

My period is so irregular that the symptoms I’m feeling right now could be real symptoms of pregnancy or it could all just be in my head. I have two periods this last month which is common for the summer so I’m scared I’ll get a negative but we’ve been trying more lately. When I was pregnant I didn’t have any pregnancy symptoms so I just can’t find the strength to take the pregnancy test my husband wants me to do. I feel tired all the time & I always have the sensation of throwing up but it’s always later in the day so not necessarily “morning sickness” but I do get nauseous throughout the day. If I’m not pregnant than that means we have another issue on our hands & I’m not ready for that either.