I’ve been symptom spotting like crazy. I tried to be real with myself this morning and thought, “are you actually feeling these things or just wanting to feel them?”

This is only our first month trying. I know I don’t deserve to be sad. But I know I will be crushed if we weren’t successful. I’m only 6 DPO and not feeling much other than extreme fatigue. I can hardly do chores without needing to sit. I hope so much that I’m not making it up.

Today I took two pregnancy tests...two! Of course that’s insane. I knew they would be negative before I dipped them. But I did it anyway.

There’s no logic in this process, it seems. All I know is that I want to be a mother more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Every day in the shower, I put my hands on my belly and try to send as much love and hope as I can to that little zygote, if it’s there. My husband and I give it pep talks to implant and stay with us lol.

Anyway, sorry for this weird vent post. But I hope if you’re feeling the same things, you’ll take comfort in knowing someone else is out there going through it too.