Sexless marriage

I’m struggling. I don’t know what to do. I have made an appointment with a marriage counselor. I think in 2020 me and my husband have had sex twice. He’s a diabetic. I’ve asked him if he thinks it affects his sex drive of course he doesn’t know. He says when we argue he doesn’t want to have sex. No, I don’t think there’s anybody else. I just don’t understand what to do. I’m 40 years old. I have desires that are not being met and I’m starting to have thoughts that I shouldn’t have. What should I do? I’m unhappy, I’m lost, I feel alone and helpless.