Is it wrong to have my nephew call me mom?

Question

My nephew is 6 years old and his parents haven’t been in his life since he was 9 months old. They are both meth addicts and often gets in trouble with the law. They haven’t exactly given up their custody but my mom and I have been taking care of my nephew most of his life. My sister (his mom) is way too deep in her addiction to express interest in her son. Some of our family members thinks it’s wrong to have him call me mom because he still has a mom and she just needs help. I have 2 kids around his age and he stays with me 5 days a week (2 days with his grandma on his dad’s side). I didn’t want him to miss out on having a mom nor do I want him to feel different from my kids whom he grew up with like siblings. My husband don’t treat him different from our kids either. And yes he calls my husband dad which his grandma isn’t fond of. What are you guy’s take on this?

Accepted Answer

I think it’s his choice.  It’s 100% wrong for you to force it.  If it feels natural to him then fine.

Answer

I mean just let him call you guys whatever he’s comfortable with. Not your fault his parents have issues you’re doing a great thing taking care of him.

Answer

So my MIL has a cousin. That cousin is a prostitute (no shame), but also very heavily involved with drugs and alcohol. Her daughter was born addicted to crack and had to go through withdrawal symptoms at days and weeks old. She isn't the first child, nor the last that was born this way. I think at last count she had seven siblings who are in and out of foster care and have a broken relationship with their mom, because she tries to rehabilitate, gets her kids back, and then goes back to her old ways and gets them taken away. 
The daughter in question has been in the legal custody of my MIL since she was only a couple months old. She is now 12 and has no memories of her birth mother. She has seen photos and knows that that is her mother, but it's just like any other distant relative to her.
Birth mom still has parental rights because she refuses to give them up, even though she hasn't wanted to see her since my MIL took her in. The daughter calls my MIL "mom" and my FIL "dad" and my husband's other siblings her siblings. She goes by a different name, and has stated several times the desire to have her name legally changed to her "given" name. But because BM still has rights, she can't do that. The day she turns 18, she will.
As long as your nephew knows (at levels that he can understand) that you're not his birth mom, but that you don't love him any less, there is no harm in him calling you "mom". Especially when birth mom isn't in the picture. If she eventually enters the picture, you will still be the woman who raised him and therefore still "mom" even though she may end up being "mom" too.

Answer

I think if u told him to call u mom u shouldn't have, but if he started calling you mom on his own than that's just how he feels about you and there's nothing wrong with it

Answer

I think it’s fine. You basically are his mom.

Answer

As long as it is HIS choice and you aren’t pushing it on him.

Answer

If you tell him to, I think that’s wrong. If he just started doing it one day, I wouldn’t correct him and I’d be fine with it.

Answer

If you're forcing it, it's wrong.
If he's calling you mom by his own choice, I'd say that's fine.
Another alternative for him if he does want to call you mom, would be 'Mama xx' the 'xx' being your name.

Answer

Like others are saying if he’s doing on it his own then everyone needs to get over it 🤷‍♀️ if you have him 5 days a week you are his mom and your husband is his dad! Especially if this has been his entire life. If you are forcing it then that’s a problem. I’m not in this situation but I have step children who I am parenting and have been since they were 4 months and 2 years. They call me mom. They know my name but on their own they call me mom and it was an issue recently with their birth mom but we talked it out and I explained that I have no problem with what they call me but I refuse to force anything on them. I mean honestly I am their mom just like you are this babies mom!

Answer

Whatever he wants to do. Just make sure he understands who his mom is but.... i wouldnt “make him” call you aunt all of a sudden. And people who are more worried about an addict than the childs mental health is crazy. I just think its important he understands who his biological mom is.... but u are his mother and have been since 9 months🤦‍♀️

Is it wrong to have my nephew call me mom?

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