His Daughter Doesn't Like Me

I'll do my best to keep this short.

Okay, I've been dating a man whose divorce was finalized January 2020. We met and began dating not too long after.

Prior to us meeting, his ex-wife moved their children to another state without notice or consent. Until a month ago, he hadn't seen them all year. He and his ex-wife share a 2 year old and 9 year old.

His 9 year old daughter doesn't like me. Honestly, I don't know why. When we hang out with his children and mine I try talking to her and getting to know her more and she rolls her eyes at me. And will walk away as if I wasn't talking to her. It's hurts BUT I know there's a reason for it so I'm not upset at her. When I see how she interacts with her father my response is usually 😳😬. She yells at him, talks over him, ignores him, and will walk away while he's talking to her. It was later revealed that her mother expressed "Your dad is fucked up in the head." She'll actually keep the kids from him if he doesn't do what she wants and I asked him if he's considered court? He said yes but is afraid she'll try increasing his already high child support.

I've brought up a few concerns (in private conversation between he & I) and he brushes it off and says that he has to make up for lost time because their mother just took them and wouldn't allow him to talk to them or see them for MONTHS! He feels like he has to take each step at time because he's trying to "get back on good terms" with his children. His daughter doesn't like for us to ride in the same car, sit too close together, for me to interact with her little brother. ETC!

It's not my place to say anything so I don't but it bothers me. He told me that his daughter expressed that she doesn't like me but when asked why.... she said she doesn't know why. Personally, I think that when they left she had both mom and dad at home and coming back (they moved back recently) she met dad's girlfriend. So I'm sure this has been a huge shock for her. His 2 year old son loves following me around and plays well with my 2 girls ages 3&6.

We went out to a restaurant recently for a nice family dinner and my God, the way she yelled at him and was talking to him. I put my head down and didn't say anything. A few days later, he brought it up said he doesn't know what to do and when I offered to be a sounding board for his daughter, he seemed so offended and damn near bit my head off for offering. As a child who grew up with a single mother, I WISHED I had someone to listen to me while I had to listen to the drama with mom and dad at home. I meant no harm! I promise. They stopped by my place last night and I made sure to be extra polite. When I spoke with him this morning, he said his daughter STILL feels like she doesn't like me. I could've cried you guys. I am trying so hard here. I finally asked, what happens if she doesn't come around? What's going to happen with our relationship? He calmly said "I really don't know. My kids are all I have." It hurt to hear that. All I could say was "Well, okay babe."

Please do not bite my head off. I know I am not their mother and I wouldn't ever try to replace her but I don't know if this relationship will work because of this.

Any advice? Maybe a perspective I've yet to consider?

Thanks y'all ♥️

((Please forgive any typos. I didn't feel like correcting anything))