How are you?... really....

I dont even know where to start so I'm going to just leave it simple. Im 37... have a 3 year old and am 23 weeks pregnant with my second. I've spent most of my life sick in and out of the hospital with an autoimmune disease that has negatively affected my health during my pregnancies.

Lately I've found out exactly... what I thought were my close friends... truly think of me. Apparently I'm too weak to be a mother and I'm making my children suffer. The other thought was that I need help as in a nanny to handle it and couldn't last without help.

Although I appreciate the idea that I could most definitely need help... I resent the fact that it is expected that I CANT. There wasnt a sincerity in their voices for my hardship... it was a knock on me being stupid for even trying.

Needless to say I have moved my troubles and worries elsewhere for now but it got me thinking. I am mentally doing great. I am in no position to let any kind of negative self talk to enter my head space.