So, I had my baby 5 weeks early in the beginning of October. He’s in the NiCU and has been since. I’ve been pumping exclusively and I’m not even allowed to bring him my milk because of COVID. My freezer is more than half full and at this point I’m pumping and having to dump it out. As a first time mom, it makes me feel awful to want to already stop and I haven’t even gotten to try breastfeeding.

Is..it okay to want to quit already? At this point it really just reminds me that he isn’t here and that I only get to see him once a day. I don’t want to stop but I’m so depressed and it feels more of a chore really and I hate referring to it as that. If he were home I would feel so different...but with how things are going it might be a little before coming home......😓

I’m sorry baby boy....mommy is trying so hard 😖🥺