Too rigid?

Question

FTM here 🙋🏻‍♀️ We are very strict about our girl’s bedtime. She is in her crib no later than 7pm every night. Tonight we went to a friend’s house for a small Halloween gathering and we didn’t get there until just before 6pm because we both work until 5pm. We told the hosts ahead of time that we could only stay for a little bit. They have a 3 year old. The husband kept making comments like “wow you guys are strict”, “I remember when my kid had rules”, and “our son was up until 11:30 last night”. He even called us helicopter parents because our daughter was walking towards the basement stairs while holding my hand and my husband calmly said to me “just watch the stairs” (the stairs were behind a partially open door with no landing and I didn’t know that the door led to the basement since I had never been to the house before, so I appreciated the heads up). It kind of made me feel like we are too rigid with our girl. I don’t want to deny her fun and experiences, but at the same time our schedule works for us and I don’t want to monkey with it. Tonight she went to bed at 7:15 and she was exhausted. How have you all been managing social events (I know COVID is a whole other issue) but also sticking to a routine?

Answer

I think everyone does what works for them. Some people are just more apt to speak their minds. We let our daughter go to bed when she feels, usually between 930-10. It works for us, but I realize not everyone. I get tons of comments myself from others who tell me that’s irresponsible and I’ll regret it one day. As a stay at home & pregnant mom, I don’t regret getting to sleep in lol. I have just learned we all do what works best :)

Answer

We start bedtime at 6pm every night & have since he was a few days old. COVID has us staying in and not partaking in social events, if we were, then we would still make it a point to be home before 6pm for bedtime. With that said my friend lets her baby go to bed or fall asleep when and where ever. Schedules are not for everyone & that’s great, but for us & it seems like you, they work! We made the mistake one time of taking a drive a little late and got stuck in traffic around 6pm, we dealt with a screaming tired baby the whole time while trying to make it home. So I will always stick to our “strict” schedule & I would take their comments with a  grain of salt!

Answer

We don’t mess with bedtimes/nap times either. There have been 2, maybe 3, instances that out Oct babe has been up past his bedtime in the last year. When our boys are well rested, our house is a lot happier. It works for us. That doesn’t make you helicopter parents, nor does making sure your baby is safe near a staircase. IMO, letting a child stay up until 1130 pm is unhealthy. 
You’re doing a great job! Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise! 💜

Answer

Schedules are wonderful but it's important to have a bit of give. Some flexibility teaches kids to adapt and the concept that things don't always go according to plan and that's ok. That little bit of flexibility can help prevent meltdowns over a perceived loss of stability later.

Answer

A little flexibility is important but kids definitely thrive on a predictable schedule. We went to a friend’s last night and brought our portable pac n play so we could hang out later, but that’s a one off for sure. Mostly we are in bath / bed no later than 7pm here too otherwise there’s a meltdown.
P.S. that guy sounds like he needs to keep his opinions a little more to himself!

Answer

I wouldn’t worry about anyone’s comments. Do what works best for you and your lo. Every baby is different. My lo isn’t on a strict schedule. He has made his own schedule that’s pretty consistent. But typically on weekends we hang out with a few family members and he stays up really late playing with his cousins. And he’s always fine. When we leave he falls asleep in the car and sleeps through the night with no problems. And falls right back in line with his semi consistent schedule during the week.

Answer

We have been on a super strict schedule his whole life because he has thrived on it. We do bedtime at seven as well, but now that he is older on a few special occasions we have kept him up as late as eight and it hasn’t bothered him at all the next day. Our brother got married last month and we kept him up until 930 and even that didn’t mess with him either! So 99% of the time we are sticking to a strict seven but if there is an event we feel is important, moving it by an hour hasn’t messed us up or anything!￼￼

Answer

We are also on a strict schedule and she is in bed by 7 every night. She sleeps 12 hours without a peep and we get some alone time in the evening. If we keep her up longer she doesn't sleep as well and wakes up early. We believe sleep is very important for her and us so we try to keep things strict. If we want to go out later we get a babysitter, usually grandma 🤷‍♀️ I know if we dragged her to a social gathering she would be miserable since she would be so sleepy so I wouldnt do that to her.

Answer

I always thought we’d be “go with the flow” parents, but we are 100% on a schedule. I attribute that to COVID since we have no social life. I hope that when it’s safe to socialize again, my daughter will be able to adapt. I think it also depends on what type of kid you have. Currently, if my daughter is not in bed by her regular bedtime, it’s not pretty 😂.

Too rigid?

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