Did I allow other people in my relationship? Did it end because of my feelings or opinions of others

I’m feeling a little lost and confused. I have been with my partner for almost 7 years and we have 3 kids together. There has been many things lacking , including financially and emotionally. I did feel like I hit a breaking point with him and I felt like space would help us absorb our true feelings and we would then be able to come together with a mutual solution. Breaking up being an option ... I do love him and he claims to love me. Our communication is very bad , when I try to talk about things that bother me he takes it as conflict and tries not to address it or tries to make me feel like since I am bringing it up I am the one causing the problems. I have gotten tired of beating a dead horse and finally told him he has to leave. During this time I confided in family and they all suggested I leave him and they would support me. So far my sister has not kept her end of the bargain , she was supposed to move in for a little to help me with the kids. My mom and stepdad relationship has gotten very rocky so now they are using my troubles against me. I feel stupid for putting out the one person who I felt actually supported me and had my back. I entrusted my family to help me emotionally and they are not. He is trying to regain our relationship but it hasn’t been easy. I’m not convinced that the problems are going to be worked through because it’s always like one step forward two steps back. I’m afraid to give him the benefit and continue waiting for him to step up and be the man/father that we need. He has yet to truly change a lot of behavior that I’m not ok with anymore. Examples are ; not being fully invested in birthdays and holidays. Acting like everything is a business transaction between us, being bitter about paying part of the bills and having no money left afterwards. Expecting sexual rewards when he refuses to talk about the emotional aspects of our relationship.... to name a few. I have my younger sister who is 15 living with me now because like I said my mom and stepdad are rocky because they are not treating her good or taking action like they should. I made the mistake to confide in her when I was upset about situations so every time he is over she asks why is he here? Is he staying here ? Etc and tells me she is not as comfortable when he is here..... I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place and just don’t know what my next move is. He has not really given me the space I asked for. He is trying to just get back together as if our problems will somehow disappear. I don’t want to continue this cycle of taking him back and being hurt and disappointed but at the same time I wonder how we can fix this? I’m thinking about considering couples therapy , I miss us, we met when we were 20 and now 27 , we aren’t maturing at the same rate , as a follower of Christ, should I give him love and patience? What type of ultimatum should I have? Another problem I had was he was always saying he is not ready to engage me . First he used the excuse of finances then he had money and said he just wasn’t ready so it had me feeling like if he didn’t want to be committed to me , why am I wasting time with him? Now he says he wants to but I don’t know if it’s just to get back with me and I’ll be waiting for never or if he is serious about changing. I’m so lost right now and hurting and don’t want to jeopardize my family because I listened to advice of my family without pursuing all options first .... I don’t know .....