Yesterday was probably the worst day of my life. I lost my sweet baby at 6 weeks...I’m not sure how to pick up the pieces of my heart. My dear sweet angel, I feel like I’ve failed you. Failed to provide you with a safe space to grow and thrive. Failed to somehow protect you. I never got to know if you were my little boy or sweet girl. I never got to see your heartbeat or feel you move and grow. All I have are the positive pregnancy tests that let me know you were once there with me. My heart breaks every time I think that we were supposed to be a family of 5, that your daddy and mommy and two big brothers will never get the chance to meet you. I never wanted to say goodbye...and yet I’m never going to be able to say hello, to kiss your little cheeks, to hold your little hand, to look into your eyes. Would you have looked like mommy? Or daddy? Would you have blond hair or brown? Blue eyes or brown? All I can do now is imagine and dream. I know I have to be strong for your big brothers, but I’m finding that too hard to do right now. Everyone keeps asking me if I want anything or if I need anything. But the one thing I want and need right now is gone. All I want is to have you back. I love you sweet baby. Love mommy ❤️