My BFF is talking to my old Ex I had a miscarriage

My best friend of 15+ years told me yesterday that she’s talking to an old ex of mine that I dated 7 years ago. By 2012 my best friend and I got into an argument over something silly. And we didn’t talk for a long time till 2018. Okay let me start off from the beginning.

My ex from 7 years ago was also my 1st kiss when I was 14. (She knows that) I was soooo “in love” with him. Or so I thought I was young and liking boys. He was my 1st kiss and I had feelings for him for a VERY long time!! (Again she knows that) And we finally decided to date in 2013. Everything was great. But he broke up with me. But we went back together but we were friends with benefits. We had sex on and off for 7 months or so. And then my period didn’t come.. I was so nervous scared I didn’t know what to do. A week after I was late I got my “period” it was so heavy! And I remember passing a large clot! It was so horrible. I never told my ex about it and we soon stopped seeing each other. (She did NOT know we were dating because we had a pretty big argument the year before my ex and I got together)

So now present my best friend didn’t know we dated or had sex with him. Since me and her haven’t talked in 6 years. She didn’t know about he miscarriage I had with my ex. She knew nothing. Which I completely I understand. But my ex never told her about our past.

She now knows everything that has happened. She feels bad about it. But she’s already deeply invested in him. I’m pretty mad at how my ex never told her about me. But I told her that it’s okay. (She’s divorced her ex husband was so toxic) I assured her that it’s okay and that the past is the past. I told her over and over that it’s okay. She can date him. No biggie but now I feel so weird. Like I had a miscarriage with him. I loved him for a long time. I mean he was my 1st kiss.! There’s so much history. I just feel Idk I guess betrayed. Idk I’m married now and I have 2 boys. So idk why I feel like this it’s been bugging me since she told me yesterday. I just don’t know why she would talk to him after she knew I really liked him when I was younger. I wouldn’t never date one of her ex’s out of respect. She told me they hold hands and hug and I feel so weird. Like that was me 7 years ago. ! Idk what to do.

I hope you guys don’t get confused. I just start typing and I don’t make sense sometimes lmao 😂😂

If you have read this far thankyou. !

Let me add.. I’m not jealous of her! Nor do I feel like I’m mad or anything. She told me over and over again yesterday when she told me “are you okay about it?!” I said “girl it’s fine no hard feelings I’m totally cool with it”

She kept saying I’m sorry I shouldn’t gotten with him and sorry about yalls miscarriage.

BUT the whole thing is soooo weird. Idk how to put into words.

Don’t get me wrong she deserves the world and everything after her ex husband left her for another woman! It’s just weird feeling!?!!!