Lying - Who’s right?

Question

Not big lies, not even worth mentioning. Just little things, but obviously lying. Saying something that absolutely isn’t true. 
Who’s the one with the right to be upset?  The person who was lied to, or the person who claims they were made to lie?
Is lying ever “right” if it keeps the peace?  How about lying by omission?  
What’s your deal breaker when it comes to lying?

Answer

If you have to lie and hide things, there is a problem. If you can’t or refuse to be honest with someone, there is a problem. If you justify it by saying someone “made” you lie, there is a big problem. No one makes anyone lie, that is a choice one makes themselves.

Answer

The one who realizes that they are being lied to is usually the one who’s more hurt, the one who gets caught in a lie gets defensive and deflects or blames them, Because they got caught.  White lies like this outfit make me look fat, obviously if you say yes, it’s going to be another hour of trying on outfits, I think to spare someone’s feelings. A bad haircut, something to that effect, to spare their feelings. Saying you look god-awful or some thing like that isn’t probably the nicest way to break it to them. Saying maybe it’ll grow out or I’m not too crazy about it kind of thing but if there’s intent to hurt the person, that’s a different story. Sparing their feelings is another. Growing up with a controlling mother who was a narcissist and you name it, she was the only person I ever had to lie to in order to have an ounce of freedom. My mother was never the kind of person who was empathetic or could sympathize, in order to have any kind of solace, or freedom or anything, I always had to lie to her. Sneak around with guys etc. As for my partner, I have no reason to lie to them, know if they are insecure or jealous kind of situation, sometimes you have to spare their feelings. When I was with my last guy I was dating, are used to get hit on like there was no tomorrow because I had lost a lot of weight and people noticed, so in the beginning I used to tell him that guys would hit on me, but I knew that it made him uncomfortable and would make him insecure and make him feel jealous, so I stop telling him when it would happen. It wasn’t that I lied or that I engage with any of these men, but I knew that it bothered him. And with the guy am currently with, I know it bothers him when my ex contacts it’s me￼￼￼ but I’m honest when he does. I have nothing to hide otherwise, I have no poker face, and there’s always a nicer way of saying something to someone rather than being blunt or rude. But when it comes to lying to your spouse because you’re cheating or you don’t want to go to an event and would rather spend time with your friends or hiding money or any kind of thing that is done and deception, that is one it’s wrong obviously. But when you’re trying to throw a surprise party and you’re trying to do something nice for someone it’s OK to say that you were obviously planning the event and things and you kind of had to do a white lie to cover up any anticipation of the surprise or planning a surprise. I think there’s always a gray area when it comes to the intention of the lie. When you’re trying to deceive someone for a bad reason because you’re cheating because you’re have an addiction and you’re lying because of that, that’s obviously did you see the person, for a bad reason. But I think when it’s a good reason or despair someone’s feelings like a white lie type of thing I think it’s a different story.￼￼

Answer

Lying is never justified in my opinion. I value honesty greatly. I couldn't be with a chronic liar. I just couldn't trust them.

Lying - Who’s right?

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