Why can’t I masterbate by myself?

I’ve never masterbated by myself. I’ve had my whole life to play with my hands but just never found myself able to do it. Now that I’m married, we decided to buy some toys to spice up our sex life. I am a stay at home wife. I eye ball my new vibrator all the time, very tempted to use it while hubby is at work. I never actually use it. I can’t get myself in the mood. I can totally use it while him and I are together but when it’s just me I can’t come around to using it.. is that normal?

I catch myself waking up with my hands down my pants.. I think I masterbate in my sleep lol

I just wanna know if this it normal- if it means anything- and if i can overcome this

Thanks in advance to anyone who comments!