drifting-rant

i argue all the time with my SO and i love them so much but i’m so overwhelmed and tired of the fights. i have no one else. no friends to talk to. only them. and i’m ok with that. but i feel like we aren’t as close as close as we were and it’s only been 2 years. i want to spend the rest of my life with them and i know they feel the same way buts sort of like why even try at this point. we barely talk during the day. we barely make time for each other. i have to ask to see them or when i’m gonna come over. i know they are the love of my life but i don’t know how to move past this. maybe it’s my depression. maybe it’s me. i feel like i don’t deserve them. im so exhausted with pushing things to the side and pretending like we don’t have problems when ever discussing our arguments don’t work. i’m always crying now.

(you don’t have to interact with this. this is just somewhere i can organize my thoughts.)