anxiety, help.

I'm sorry if the topic didn't match the content but I do really need advice for help.

I've been struggling with some trust issues thing since i was a kid (I'm 20 now), i can't be open up to anyone including my family.

This whole time sometimes i feel mentally down but i still can handle it, but this past 1 week, i feel like I'm in the weakest stage..

I don't know what makes me feel like this, i just kinda feel sad and anxious all the time. I've been crying non stop for 2 days now.

This whole time i can manage it but now, idk, i can't. Even today I started to imagined me ended up my life..

I've been searching for some distraction but none of them are worked. Even if i watch or remember something good, i feel sad and anxious again. What should I do? 😔😔