okay ladies this is a long one sorry in advanced but i need to get this out.

every year since I've been with my husband we have spent Thanksgiving with my family. and every year my husband and I cook everything. and we enjoy it we tell my family how much we look forward to it this is our JAM!

every year my family tries to talk us out of cooking ( but every year they all rave on an on about how good everything is, my husband and I are pretty good cooks so its not that the food is terrible lol) last year they decided to go to a restaurant to eat Thanksgiving it was awful and it broke my heart (because seriously I look forward to cooking everything all year)

this year we've decided to stay home to have Thanksgiving instead of going to my moms..... when I told my mom we were staying home it did not go well! her immediate response was that I was disowning my family, I was keeping my children from her that I was betraying her this and that anyways it really hurt my feelings I told her I couldn't deal with this and got off the phone I later wrote her a text saying I didn't like how the conversation went told her she hurt my feelings and I was in no way disowning my family by wanting to do my own thing for one Thanksgiving. I also said after my cold passes she could set a time to come over to see the kids. she sent a short message back saying okay. a day after all this I wrote another text telling her sorry again and how it has been a really tough year for me and im am just drained ( I had a miscarriage and my father was murdered so it is safe to say this year has really taken a tole on me mentally and emotionally) I also told her about one of my kids being the student of the month and how proud we are and she never responded so its just like another slap in the face.

my aunt who lives with my mom sent me a pretty nasty text about all this and that didn't help the situation at all. I decided to not even respond to her because I knew it would just make things worse.

this whole situation made me really upset and then I started thinking how my mom always guilt trips me for not bringing my kids to see her. it shouldn't just be my job to bring my kids to her. never once has she called me to talk to my kids or called me to ask if she could come over and see them or called to see if they could come stay with her. I've tried to set up kids messanger with her more than one occasion so that my kids could call her but she doesn't even do that.

if you've read all this thank you, I'm not really sure what my point is for writing this I guess I'm just upset and needed to vent. maybe see if anyone else is in a similar situation with there mom who guilt trips but doesn't put any effort into the relationship with her grandkids and how did you deal with it?? sorry for all the errors that are in the whole thing too I know its a mess lol