WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!

Question

I am so so unhappy in my relationship. I just don't feel I could be the same  with him because he puts me thru so much ofnemotional and verbal abuse. I've been with him 6 years and never got what I deserve.... I'm just so unhappy and J don't know how to walk away and not look back.  I dont kmow what to do.... I just feel like running away somwhere...

Answer

I understand, and I think you need to make peace with the fact you will look back and miss him, but that, you will have to trust yourself that you can look back but know going back is not worth it.
Replying all the bad stuff is helpful in staying away. It's not easy, it's like breaking an addition. Hardest thing I ever did

Answer

Take it from somebody who put up with so much bullshit for five years with my cheating ex, he was bipolar, he was irresponsible, he slept with half of our town, while I was out working he was entertaining women. He couldn’t keep jobs, he had tickets in every town that he would neglect that would turn into warrants, arrests, impounded cars, having to pay the fines and bail him out of jail, you name it. I was basically his mother, I will call him a hobo sexual. He was looking for a place to live he couldn’t keep anything, he would never had the same phone number, the place to live, he was the most unstable person on the planet, he grew up in the system and use that sob story on every woman so they would take pity and sympathy on him and give him whatever he wanted. He was a con artist in reality, I was blinded by love and emotionally attached due to having two miscarriages, I even walked in on him twice entertaining women. He knew I didn’t wanna be alone, that I would tolerate whatever and I wasn’t going anywhere and he got away with murder. He used me to clean up all of this messes, he was even sleeping on the floor in my office at one point when he was homeless I felt bad for him, never again. We often dwell on the good times versus the bad times, because we celebrate for one day and we cry ourselves to sleep for a week. When things are over, we still miss the guy because we dwell on the what if rather than what is the reality. Often nostalgia and imagination are more powerful than we realize, we think about all the happiness rather than him being an asshole and knowing that we deserve better. We allow them to manipulate and use guilt and deflect and blame us for everything, they do the minimal while we do the maximum because they make you feel like you’re not enough, and they do this on purpose, they have control over you, because they know you’re not going anywhere, they break you down, and they control everything. You need to know that you deserve better than this. Stop the bullshit, stop allowing him to do this to you, he probably feels like you have nowhere to go, if you do have family nearby you probably don’t wanna hear all the I told you so ‘s, but this is another reason why government assistance exists. To give women options who are in horrible situations. From section 8 housing or transitional housing, Energy Assistance, welfare, SSI, WIC, temporary assistance for needy family, there are tons of government programs to help you with getting a car like Salvation Army, children’s future and other organizations to help you with diapers and formula, Energy Assistance, and rental assistance from Catholic charities, most churches and women’s community centers and shelter should offer you free counseling, free or reduced lunch for children of school age, state funded daycare so you can get a job or go back to school, financial aid for college, you just need to figure out a game plan sweetie or go home to friends or family. Or kick him out. If you don’t feel safe call the police, get pepper spray, Carry keys between your fingers, get a restraining order,,￼￼￼￼ change your phone number, block and delete him on everything, you deserve better, if you have children they deserve better, if you’re trying to stay together for the sake of the kids, don’t, it’s never worth it, because everyone is miserable and the kids know what is going on whether you try and hide it from them or not, they would rather you be happy alone and everyone be miserable. You are not a victim, you are victorious, a warrior, under survivor, stop choosing to live there, stop choosing to allow him to hurt you, stop choosing to tolerate his bullshit, choose happiness, choose better, you deserve happiness, you are worthy of so much more. You can do anything that you put your mind to. And honestly take time to heal before you move on otherwise I’ll just sabotage your next relationship with all of your issues of trust and insecurities and doubts and trust issues and commitment issues from the previous guy sabotaging your future relationships by blaming the new guy for what the last guy did. Take the time to heal I can’t stress that enough. Whether that is journaling or counseling or daily affirmations or exercise or yoga or screaming into a pillow, keeping yourself busy, spending time with friends and families and creating new memories, have a new experiences. And getting rid of every visual trigger so that you don’t have to think about him, get rid of the text messages and the photos and anything that belong to him. How can you get over someone when you’re still sleeping with his favorite sweatshirt, you reminded of him daily because of that. Take the time to heal, work on yourself inside and out, it’s OK to be alone, you are better off alone than in bad company. Life is what you make it, if you weren’t happy, you change what you can, what you can’t change, you learn to love, accept and embrace yourself flaws and all. Learn to love yourself, date yourself and pamper yourself you don’t need a man. A man just not complete you or define you or your happiness, you do. You take it one day at a time and give yourself some grace everyone has good days and bad days. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve got this

Answer

I understand exactly how you’re feeling. I would like to know as well

Answer

I agree with the other comment. Once you leave, thinking of all the crap you went through with that person will help you stay away. It will be hard at first but as time goes by it’ll get better. Just gotta focus on yourself, set goals and keep busy. Once you get through it, you’ll feel like you can get through just about anything.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!

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