Mental health and gaslighting... help

So last night I got into an argument with my sister. (My husband and I moved in after moving back to Arkansas from California.) I'm not 100% sure if I was over reacting, she was gaslighting me, or both...

It was over the fridge she asked me to empty it before Thanksgiving and I said I'd to it Wednesday while she was cooking so most of the stuff would be out of my way anyway. Well her husband as he was walking away just hinted that I do it last night. We've had arguments about him hinting before. Well I cleaned out the old left overs and anything else that needed to be thrown out. They got mad cuz I didn't scrub the shelves. Then her husband does it and about an hr later texts me "fridge". No sentence just 1 work. I took that as attitude cuz I am a person and an adult. So I went bk in the kitchen threw everything else that wasn't important out then went out and yelled over the heater they have in the garage. I had an attitude and said I was a person and they can send me more then a word. Then they start yelling telling me to stop yelling when its one of the workshop jet heaters I was yelling over. Her husband finally gets up and turns it off and I lower my voice with it. Then she starts bringing up things other than this. Mentioning how our birth parents (the ones that abused both of us and were never around from birth to my age 4 when foster are took us away) loved me and not her and our grandparents(adoptive parents). Then saying the only reason I didn't stay in a mental hospital (probably would've been better off anyway) is cuz she threw a fit. So now its like she's throwing it in my face like I owe her. Even though my husband and I buy 99% of the food which in turn they turned around and said we eat most of it anyway (so called us fat). During I shut down and stopped fighting cuz I was about to start panicking and crying. I waited for her to shut up. Apologized for my attitude then went bk to the bedroom in tears panicking and having an anxiety attack. Started to freak out that I was going crazy and that I over reacted.

I'm sorry this was so long if you read through it thank you. Really need help.